Thursday, May 19, 2011

Words of Wisdom (pretty close, anyway)

One of my favorite bloggers is Mrs. G of Derfwad Manor^ (founder of the Women's Colony^) She's witty. She's sharp. She's very funny.

Mrs. G's most recent entry has Kim writing to Mrs. G^, saying that that she has been invited to a bridal shower for a nephew's bride-to-be, and has been given a 3 x 5 card with the following instructions:

"Dear _______,  At this special time, my Bride-to-be advice for you is:  (and then there are five lines to write on).  Best Wishes,"  -- And on the back of the card the hostess (aunt and/or sister of the bride) has written:  "Please bring this card to Barbara's shower.  We'll have some fun!"
Kim asks Mrs. G, who in return asks her readers to give the bride-to-be some advice. After thinking about it, I managed to whittle it down to: 

1. Treat your partner better than you would treat a stranger. If a stranger opened a door for you, you'd say "thank you", right? Why do so many people think their spouses aren't worth of the same (or better) treatment? In addition to day-to-day courtesies, thank him (her) whenever they do something thoughtful or kind. or just because.

Love, kindness, and thoughtfulness are not limited commodities; you can give them away and they will never run out.

2. Go to bed angry rather than fight. Laying in the dark, side by side, drifting off to sleep next to your beloved (even when you are as mad as a wet hen) has a way of taking the heat out of the fire. Also, problems have a way of shrinking down to a manageable size overnight. So, go to sleep angry.

3. Never pass up the chance to tell your partner how proud and happy you are to be his wife (her husband). Never pass up the chance to tell them how grateful you are for his hard work. Never forget why you married this wonderful man (woman).

4. Know the difference between want and need. Needs are things you have to have. Wants are things you'd like to have. Don't make heavy demands on your spouse to fulfill your wants, but do all you can to get your needs met and to meet your partner's needs.

5. Ask what you can do for your partner, then listen carefully to the answer. Show interest in subjects that your spouse is interested in. You don't have to have everything in common, but it's good to have some things to fall back on during times of stress. Just listen.

But Kim asked for five lines, right? Whittled and pared down to the bare bones, I came up with:

1. Treat your spouse with the care & manners you would show strangers.
2. Go to bed angry rather than escalate a fight when you are tired.
3. Tell them how proud & happy you are to be their spouse.
4. Know the difference between what you want & need. Act accordingly.
5. Be a good listener and show interest in their interests.

I can think of other things, but those are the basics. Treat your sweetheart as you'd like to be treated. Treat them better than anyone else. Never let him (her) forget how important they are to you. Always remember why you married him (her).