We Shall Find Peace

photo by dpawatts^

  We shall find peace. 

We shall hear angels, we shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.

Anton Chekov, Uncle Vanya

Namasté

deena

I don't know. I've never kipled

Which is, of course, the punchline to the joke, "Do you like Kipling?"

We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

I read a poem a few weeks ago, and it really spoke to me, as they say. Its by Rudyard Kipling^ titled, The Gods of the Copybook Headings, and is about having the common sense illustrated in the mottoes of copybooks. I fell in love with the pictures painted by the words, and the sentiment.

Rudyard Kipling, who Kipled his entire life.

Life would be wonderful if we all exhibited simple common sense. It would be Heaven on Earth if we practiced and worked to do the very best we could.

The poem in a moment...

First, some background: Copybooks were books that students copied to learn good penmanship, considered a critical business skill starting sometime in the 18th century. Copybooks existed before then, though, and there are examples online which date back as far as at least 1658. The Pen's Triumph: A Copybook, by Edward Cocker^ (c. 1658), which is a free download at Archive.org^ is one example.

The books often included intricate pictures made from pen strokes were included, to be copied. This is one such drawing, of a stag:

And this one, of a bird, with a suitably inspiring motto:

And this horse. This is what you did, over and over if you wanted to have beautiful handwriting:

I do not have beautiful handwriting.

The student made as exact a copy as possible. At the top of each page, there were mottoes and common-sense sayings, including Bible verses and historical quotes, meant to give moral lessons to the student, as well as to teach handwriting. This verse was called the copybook heading.

I don't know of anyone who uses copybooks anymore, other than a few homeschoolers, which is a shame since copying verse does seem to help with memory and results in beautiful handwriting.

So, back to the poem. Here it is:

The Gods of the Copybook Headings

by Rudyard Kipling

AS I PASS through my incarnations in every age and race,
I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.
Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.

We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place,
But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.

With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,
They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;
They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;
So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.
They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "Stick to the Devil you know."

On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "The Wages of Sin is Death."

In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "If you don't work you die."

Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew
And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.

As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

The imagery is wonderful. Dinosaurs and monkeys and dogs and fire and wizards.

The message (that we may have to learn even common sense things through experience and not observation) is sort of depressing. Made even more depressing, because my own experience says that this is true. Truth is awesome, even when its depressing.

I really think that this is my favorite poem.

What do you think?
Namasté.
deena

Sunday morning...

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.

Dr. Seuss

Namasté,
deena

This week is...

So much better.

Much less stress, so much more peace.

I want to thank everyone who sent a note or an email or called about Petey last week. It made a bad week not-nearly so bad.

Thank you so much.

I was looking through some photos tonight and wanted to share these, from a city park near our house. We go here for picnics sometimes, and always take out-of-town guests, as it is a great place to see wildlife.

These were taken after a heavy rainstorm, and sort of typify the past week for me. 

Namaste,

deena

Petey

This has been the worst week, and I am so glad it is over and done with. I spent today writing emails and making phone calls after discovering that my daughter's school materials (which had come earlier in the week) had arrived without of couple of the key components which I will need Monday morning.

Monday morning.

As in: the office is closed until Monday. I have been kicking myself all day long.

I blame myself because I should have checked as soon as the material arrived, but I didn't because...

My husband had a pretty substantial (but hopefully very temporary) change at work, and I did my very best to be supportive. I think I was pretty successful, but I probably should have done more to stay on track in other areas. I might have made it, too, but for one thing...

The unthinkable happened, which pretty much blew the whole rest of the week for me.

My husband noticed that our kitty, Petey, was acting weird. She was actually acting super-friendly and cuddly. Petey is normally shy and retiring, afraid of everything loud and busy, especially Clementine, so it really was odd. Right after he mentioned her to me, I picked her up and snuggled with her, and immediately noticed a strange scent. Her breath smelled strangely sour - a smell I was sadly familiar with. It was galvanizing.

Petey

I lost a cat, Winnie, years ago to kidney failure, and though I didn't know it then, soon found out that the scent was a byproduct of the illness. I smelled it as soon as I picked Winnie up that morning. She was acting odd, and I asked my (now) ex-husband to take her to the vet. He did, and soon the vet called to tell me she was in kidney failure, that there was nothing to be done.

I decided to have her put down. I can't remember the details, but I couldn't go into town that day, and never saw Winnie again.

I'd had Winnie since before we had children.
Since before we lived in the country.
Since before we lived in the state, or even the state before that.
Several houses, and two children and three states away. So much crammed into so little time.

We'd been through so much and she was so loving and she died without me. She was only five. I've never forgotten it.

Our vet was in town, quite a ways from home, near my (then) husband's office, and because there was nothing the vet could do for Winnie, my (then) husband went and held her while she was put to sleep, a kindness I will never forget and can never repay. I couldn't be there, and I couldn't make her wait until I could.

So, when I picked up Petey and smelled that smell, I wanted so badly to be wrong. As the evening progressed, I was less and less able to convince myself. Petey slept on our bed, cuddled with us, and seemed so frail and weak. Petey was not old and had not been sick, and the smell... I just knew.

Dan and I petting Petey together

Dan called early the next morning, got an 8:30 appointment, and I took Petey in. Our vet saw her and gently examined her, and took blood. He told me that he was going to keep her and would call me with the results, but something in his voice told me what I didn't want to hear. I cried all the way home.

The vet called within the hour and told me the news - she was in kidney failure. Her numbers were too high to accurately measure. There was nothing he could do. He would try if I wanted him to, but it probably wouldn't be a permanent fix and... I don't know what else he said, but I told him I'd talk to Dan and call back.

Dan and I decided to have her put down. There is no way to justify making an animal suffer if there is no way for them to get better.

Dan called our vet. I laid down on the bed and cried.

We went over a bit later, and we all held her and petted her while she was eased out of her pain.

Petey's beautiful golden-green eyes

She died before the vet had finished the injection.

It was painless and quiet.

We weren't sure, right before, if Clementine should see the process. Our vet said that he thought Clementine would be okay, but that she could leave if she wanted, one of us would go with her. That's what we told her.

But Clementine asked to stay, and we are all glad she did because right before the injection, Petey raised up and nuzzled Clementine, wanting to be petted. In the moments before she died, she snuggled with Clementine, something she almost never did. Clementine has always been too active and full of energy for shy little Petey.

We all cried. I am so grateful that Clementine's last moments with Petey were good. Grateful to Petey for one last gift. Thankful and grateful to God or whomever arranges such things in the Universe for giving our small child the priceless gift of acceptance and love from our cherished pet.

Thursday, we all went together at lunchtime and picked up Petey's ashes. I've never had a pet cremated before, but I badly needed to have her back, though I'm still not sure why.

Me and Petey

Today we got a note about Petey's passing from the vet. It was moving and heartfelt. We will always cherish it.

So.

I should have looked through the material, and I have a good excuse as to why I didn't. But that doesn't really matter and now I'm kicking myself.

Having written this, though, I think I'll stop kicking myself. I think I'd rather spend my time thinking of other things, doing other things.

My cat is in a tasteful gray box on the mantle. I wish she wasn't, but I thank her for her love and companionship, and am glad to have the reminder.

My husband is home in bed, tired, after a good, productive, but slightly hectic week at work. I'm glad he's here. I hope the "slightly hectic" is ever-so temporary. I will be joining him upstairs soon. 

My sweet daughter is asleep in her bed. She asks questions about Petey several times a day. She thinks Petey is in Heaven with my Dad, and my cat Winnie, and her sister's cat, and the dog my dad had when he was a boy.

Clementine never met my Dad, his dog, Winnie, or her sister's cat. Petey gave her a connection to all those people and pets. All those souls and personalities. She knows that Petey is with them all, and is closer to them as a result.

Thank you, sweet Petey.

Thank you so much for everything.

We will all miss you and we will not ever forget you.

Sixteen Questions

From Mrs. G, who is always funny and thoughtful^.

1) Do you support gay marriage?

Yes. I think if straight people get married, gay people should have to, too.

Honestly: it's a human rights issue, and I can't believe that it is even a question for most people. Love isn't a zero-sum game. If gay people get married, it does not diminish love or marriage for anyone else. Happy marriages are good for everyone in our society. Also, I think that this is a defining issue for Americans. Someday, those who vocally oppose gay marriage will be scorned and will be look at in the same way that we look down on those who opposed the civil rights movement.

I should have added: Those who call themselves small-government conservatives, who want the government out of their lives, who then also demand that the government should decide which adults can and can't get married, are hypocrites.

Those people should remember not to whine and cry when that same government moves to restrict their lives in ways that scare and anger them. It is inevitable. It always happens. Why they will act surprised when it does is beyond me.

Freedom isn't just for one group. It's for all Americans. Restrict it for some, and it will be restricted for all. That is how giving power to the government works and has always worked.

And it isn't about whether or not you "approve" of gay marriage or not. It's okay it you don't. You don't have to like it. It's about whether or not you can maintain your freedoms in the face of denying freedom to others.

2) How old are you, beautiful?

Old enough to be pleased when someone tells me that I look great for being in my mid-30's.

3) What is the strangest thing you have ever put on a peanut butter sandwich?

Bananas and mayonnaise, according to my husband.

4) Are you comfortable wearing a two piece bathing suit to the beach?

Good Lord, no.

5) Are you honest with your spouse/significant other about everything?

I try to be, but I also try to curb my sharp tongue, so maybe not always. <--- probably a good thing.

6) Are you offended by the adult book "Go the F*ck to Sleep?"

No. I wish it was a series.
Go the F*ck to the Bathroom.
Time to Go the F*ck to the Dentist.
Pick Up Your F*cking Toys.
And so on.

7) Be honest, do you regularly find yourself judging people? On what basis: looks, intelligence, prosperity?

Yes. Intelligence and wisdom. Looks are transient, and there are some good reasons not to be wealthy. There is no reason at all to be misinformed or ignorant, though.

I should have added, Honesty. 

8) What's the most you've ever spent on a piece of clothing?

A few hundred dollars for a prom dress, back in the dark ages, when that was a lot of money.

My wedding dresses didn't cost anywhere near as much as that dress. It was gorgeous, though. Lavender, with yards and yards of tulle, like a long ballet tutu, with a satin bodice. More or less like this, except this is Barbie's prom dress, not mine:



9) On a scale of one to ten (one being "not much"), how would you rate the importance of your online relationships?

Depends. Some of them are very important to me. A few aren't. So, on a scale of one to ten, most of them would be 9s or 10s. A few are as low as 3 or 4.

10) Do you think sexting counts as infidelity?

Yes. Intimacy is about more than sex.

11) Is Jax from Sons of Anarchy too young (he's 31) to be mancaked?

I have no idea what that means. He's a cutie, though.

12) Do you have a blog?

Yes. This is it.

13) Approximately how many blogs do you read?

A lot. Like, maybe 100 or so. Almost all of them in RSS. Politics, science, geeky stuff, crafts, and food, mostly.

14) What are three blogs you can't wait to read each day (please don't include this one or your own)?

Volokh Conspiracy^ (politics and legal stuff), Zoo Borns^ (cute animal stuff), and Wired Science^ (science-y stuff).

15) George or Johnny?

Johnny.
Seriously.
Why even ask?

16) What current trend are you tired of hearing about day after day?

Most of them? Hmmmm... If I had to pick one, it would be the latest idiocy from the Republican Party. As a former Republican, I have trouble believing the disturbing pattern of bigotry and prejudice that spews forth with no one in leadership denouncing any of it.

I would have added, had I thought about it, that I'm still pretty conservative on most issues. Actually, I'm pretty libertarian on most issues, but that's harder to explain. People understand "conservative". Not many people understand "libertarian".

Ballet, Baseball, and Soup

We've had a busy week.

Preparing for a business trip. The last ballet rehearsal for the season. The first baseball of the season. And Dan has been on call. We're always thankful for on-call weeks, because they encourage us to stay close to home, which tends to result in more relaxed time together as a family. A good thing, as Martha Stewart says.

Still, we were out and about a bit.

The first baseball practice of the season was on Tuesday. Clementine's team was assigned and she met her coach for the first time. Dan helped coach last year, and probably will again. He has as much fun as she does.

If you've never seen really little kids playing baseball, you're missing out. Children scatter everywhere when the ball is hit, and they run all over the field for no reason at all. Last year, two kids skipped off to chase butterflies while their team was in the field. Lots of fun.

first practice of the season

Domo-Kun proudly wearing this year's team colors

We had our last ballet rehearsal this week. Clementine's recital is this weekend (she's a dancing flower, the program is Little Red Riding Hood).

It is every bit as cute and sweet as you might think.

 The last practice of the year

We spent a late afternoon outside after work one day, one planting flowers and tomatoes, and re-potting some indoor plants.

We have a few tiny tomatoes already!



what we're hoping for
from here^

Clementine has been worried over a barrel of marigold seeds we planted last year. We went outside every week toward the end of summer, deadheading the flowers and scratching in the dirt to plant the seeds.

She fussed over them all winter and spring, and grew terribly concerned that they wouldn't come up this year. It took us a moment, but we were finally able to find the little leaflets of the new plants this week. I was happy because I'd all but promised that they would be back.

Marigolds
from here^

And Clementine was happy because our "sleeping" seeds from last year decided to return.

We took time to play outside in the water with Clementine, and to enjoy the sun and heat after what seemed like an endless winter and a cold spring. Welcome back, summer.

Dennis enjoying the sun

A few months back, I managed to take the tip of my finger off on a mandoline cutter, cutting carrots for the dehydrator. This is what a mandoline cutter may look like:

(okay, probably not)

This is what a mandoline cutter actually looks like:

the real deal

Mandoline cutters make short work of veggies, and are capable of making very thin cuts without mangling the produce. Perfect for dehydrators and recipes that require thin slivers. Thin slivers means that the blades have to be very sharp. And they are. There are warnings all over the thing, and all over the box it comes in, telling you that it has really sharp blades.

Apparently, even though I read the warnings, I didn't take it to heart the first time. Bye-bye fingertip. Been good to know ya.

Ignore obvious warnings
at your own peril

This time was different. I managed to make it through several pounds of onions in a few minutes with all of my remaining fingers intact. The difference? I used the &^%%$&-ing guard, just like the directions said to do.

The resulting French onion soup was delicious. We had it in bowls with gluten-free bread and melted cheese one night, and as an accompaniment to turkey and mushroom sandwiches the next.

In case anyone wonders:

1. Yes, your fingertip will grow back, but it will be  incredibly sensitive compared to other, older hand parts. It almost hurts to touch anything with any sort of pressure.
2. When it grows back, it mat be flat at the tip, even if the other index finger is more rounded. 
3. I don't know if my fingerprint is different or not. The whorls and ridges  look the same to me. 
4. I have no idea how long the sensitivity lasts or if the sensitivity ever ends. It is good to have this sort of sensation for working in clay though, so I'm good with it either way.
5. Mandolines are devices which are used in the kitchen to cut food.
   Mandolins are a type of lute.
   
   

   

   Woman in a Toque with a Mandolin
   Jean-Baptiste Camille Corot (1796-1875